Stories: Teeth

Mandy arrived at the door of My Friend's Place with her two small children, a four-year old boy and an infant girl. Mandy had no teeth. Over time, her husband Vince had punched her in the mouth repeatedly so all her teeth had been knocked out. She also had hearing loss as a result of the beatings.

Mandy was embarrassed by her appearance and never smiled, keeping her head down when she talked and hiding her mouth with her hair. She had been hit in the face so many times that she said her own sister didn't recognize her.

When Mandy called 911, the police had arrived to find blood all over the house. They talked to Mandy and Vince separately. Mandy noticed that one of the officers and her son were walking around the house looking under the tables and around the couch, but she didn't know why. Later she asked him about it. He said, "I asked the policeman what he was doing and he said he was looking for your teeth. I told him, I can help you. I can help you find Mommy's teeth."

Mandy had already been in several drug treatment programs, but Vince had tracked her to a couple of them because they weren't confidential. She was told she chose to drink--it wasn't because she had been beaten up. She was never allowed to talk about the violence she experienced. At My Friend's Place shelter, Mandy finally found a program that dealt with domestic violence and chemical dependency under one roof. She was able to express that she drank to hide her feelings and not feel the bruises on her face. She drank because she felt horrible and hurt so badly she just didn't want to feel it anymore. She drank to block out Vince telling her she was a fat bitch and would never make it in life, that no one would like her because she had no teeth.

With client assistance dollars from people who have donated money to us, we were able to put Mandy in touch with a dentist who made her a new set of teeth. She saw the dentist several times a week over three months and we arranged transportation for her. She had to get teeth pulled because when they were knocked out, partial teeth were left. It was a long, painful process and she would come back from appointments with her face swollen and only able to survive liquids.

When Mandy finally had her full set of teeth, one of our shelter advocates took her to Burger King for her first solid food meal in a long time. She looked at the pictures that were taken of her before her treatments and the picture of her with Vince and said, "I will never ever go through this again. This will never happen to me again. I feel like a whole person again."

She had learned how domestic violence and chemical dependency are linked while she lived at My Friends Place. We are hopeful that Mandy will continue with her recovery. When she left My Friend's Place, she said, "I still love him, but I can never go back to him. If I stay away from him, I will be able to stay clean, sober and safe."