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Robert still wore diapers. And unlike most children
his age, he still didn't talk, depending on his sister
to speak for him. Robert played quietly with toys, not
really interacting with any of the children except Rachel.
Rachel,
on the other hand, was outgoing and expressive-- the
little girl who knew all about boys, hairstyles and
conflict with girlfriends. Like many older children
from violent homes, she took on an adult role. She was
very protective of her brother and readily understood
his likes and wants.
From
the beginning, Rachel actively participated in "circle
time," sharing with other children that her father was
an alcoholic who physically abused both her Mom and
her. To escape his violence, they were forced to hide
in the bathroom, the only room with a door that locked,
comforting each other until he fell asleep.
During
the six months they participated in the group, Rachel
and Robert grew and changed dramatically. Rachel learned
that the group was a safe place where she could use
her imagination, play games and have no job other than
being a kid. With Rachel's attention diverted elsewhere,
Robert had more room and space to speak for himself.
His verbal skills quickly increased and he began to
express his needs and share his frustrations and fears.
He no longer asked where his big sister was and interacted
well with the other kids.
Rachel
talked about how she felt about the abuse and how she
hated being in the middle of visitation battles. She
shared what she had learned about alcoholism from another
group she and her mother attended. Her participation
became considerably deeper, filled with emotion rather
than just relating matter-of-fact information. And she
was able to ask the other kids about their situations
and show support for them.
The
group experience enabled Rachel and Robert to face obstacles
and test new waters. They gained a renewed trust in
adults, especially their mother.
© 2000-2003 Eastside Domestic Violence Program
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