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  Myth:
Batterers use violence because they get so angry that they are out of control.
Fact: Batterers who beat their partners do not usually beat other people with whom they associate. If battering
reflected solely a mental illness, or inability to control oneself, then it is highly unlikely that the same target would be singled out
time after time. Abusers tend not to behave in public as they do at home. For example, most abusers do not beat their boss when they become
angry in the workplace, but will beat their spouse when they get home. Violence is not an uncontrollable act.
Myth:
Drugs and alcohol use cause the violence.
Fact: Blaming alcohol or drugs is another way to get out from under the responsibility for violent behavior. Substance
abuse and domestic violence are two separate problems which can occur together, but treating one will not ‘cure’ the other.
However, substance abuse may increase the frequency or severity of the violent episodes in some cases.
Myth:
Stress and unemployment cause the violence.
Fact: Most people at some times in their life have been unemployed or underemployed and did not physically abuse their
partners. Everybody experiences stress. Stress and unemployment are not causes of violence. Using violence is a choice and blaming it on
stress or unemployment is a tactic used by batterers to shift the blame and not take responsibility for their actions.
Myth:
The victim can always leave.
Fact: The period after a woman leaves or expresses her intention to leave is the most lethal for her. Seventy-five
percent of the homicides and serious assaults occur during this time. This is a powerful deterrent to leaving. Often a woman who leaves is
tracked by her abuser and threatened with harm if she does not return. The nature of domestic violence encourages conditions that keep a
woman economically dependent and socially isolated. There are many barriers women face when trying to leave an abusive relationship. For
more information on these barriers please visit our Barriers to Leaving page.
If you need assistance or if you have questions,
call our 24-hour crisis line
425-746-1940 or 1-800-827-8840
(V/TTY available 8am-5pm)
© 2000-2003 Eastside Domestic Violence Program
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